


the indescribable moments of your life

by aarobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Light Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 23:50:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15497595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/aarobron
Summary: five places that are significant throughout robert and aaron's relationship, and the one place where it all comes back to.or,Robert’s mouth is wet and warm under Aaron’s. It’s a searing kind of kiss, the kind that has the younger man’s toes curling in his boots and a shiver running down his spine. He takes it in, maps Robert’s shoulders under his fingertips, until he feels drunk on it.It’s everything he didn’t know he needed until he had it. He’d been thinking about Robert, sure – he couldn’t miss the dark looks the other man was giving him, the flush that spread on his cheeks if he looked for half a second too long. But that’s all it is. Men don’t tend to swing that way, not round here.But Robertdoes. He swings that way, both ways, whatever way he chooses, until Aaron’s head is spinning and he’s kissing Robert back breathlessly.





	the indescribable moments of your life

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i got all emo about the lay-by, so here we are. this ranges from affair era to today's episode, so it's all canon.
> 
> title from [tonight, tonight by the smashing pumpkins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOG3eus4ZSo)
> 
> happy reading!! xxx

i.

Robert’s mouth is wet and warm under Aaron’s. It’s a searing kind of kiss, the kind that has the younger man’s toes curling in his boots and a shiver running down his spine. He takes it in, maps Robert’s shoulders under his fingertips, until he feels drunk on it.

It’s everything he didn’t know he needed until he had it. He’d been thinking about Robert, sure – he couldn’t miss the dark looks the other man was giving him, the flush that spread on his cheeks if he looked for half a second too long. But that’s all it is. Men don’t tend to swing that way, not round here. 

But Robert _does_. He swings that way, both ways, whatever way he chooses, until Aaron’s head is spinning and he’s kissing Robert back breathlessly. 

Robert pulls away. He recoils from Aaron’s body until there’s no heat between them, just the pounding lust that beats in time with Aaron’s own heart. He says _i can’t_ , he says _this is a mistake_. 

He says all those things, but as he drives away, Aaron’s counting down the seconds until it happens again. 

It has to. Aaron intends to chase that feeling until it’s his.

ii. 

The barn smells like manure and damp hay. Aaron’s half tempted to bring a can of Oust next time but he’s not sure it’ll change anything, because the hay is damp and he’s pretty sure he heard the scurrying footsteps of a rat a minute ago. 

Still, it’s hard to care when Robert ducks through the doors, pulling them shut with an echoing bang. It signals alone time, signals them and us and he and him. 

He smiles, sometimes. That first moment when he steps into an empty room, just him and Aaron, and he can forget that everyone else exists. That this is an affair. He smiles gently, like he’s seeing right through Aaron’s body and into his soul. 

It doesn’t last long, usually, because then it melts into a smirk, lust tinging the edges as he takes calculated steps. It melts away completely when they kiss because there’s nothing funny about it anymore: the world stops spinning and Aaron forgets how to breathe.

When he pushes Aaron down into the hay bales and bites at the smooth expanse of his neck, all of the light narrows down to teeth and tongue and Robert’s heavy cock, gently rubbing against his thigh. It highlights the glint in Robert’s eyes, the wetness of his lower lip. Aaron pushes, arches his back, chases it. Grabs on with both hands. 

And hangs on for dear life through the ride, because that’s the only thing knows how to do. 

That’s the only way he gets to keep Robert. 

iii. 

This place is the very heart of Emmerdale. Of course it is; central heating, plush seats, beer on tap. It’s the Woolpack, it’s more home than most of the Dingles’ houses. 

Except for when it’s like this.

Chrissie is spitting with fury, tears staining her cheeks and swear words staining the air. Aaron can see it, the tension, thick and tangible, pulsing with rage. It twists around Aaron’s entire body until it pulls him tight and chokes him, makes him want to run.

“Are you happy now?” She screams, voice wet and strained. Aaron feels bad, of course he does, but it’s _Robert_ , isn’t it? He sweet talks, charms the pants off you before you even realise you’re naked. It’s a trap, Aaron’s come to realise. It’s a scam and a con, and isn’t that the tag line for Robert’s life?

He doesn’t know what to say so he doesn’t, just keeps his gaze trained on his pint and his mouth closed so no words fall out. Everything he’s thinking, it would just make everything worse – if that’s even possible. 

Of course, that’s when Robert decides to make an appearance. Even the sight of his face sickens Aaron to the stomach, but it’s not- it’s not like _that_.

It’s just when he looks at Robert, he still feels it. His heart rate doubles and his mouth goes dry, because wants and wants and wants. They’d gotten to a point where he could take, but even that’s been snatched away from him now.

Snatched away by a glint of cold metal and the blood coating Aaron’s hair.

“They’ve been at it for _months_ ,” Chrissie hisses. She sounds determined now, the calm before a storm. Everyone’s staring, glasses touching lips but no beer being drank. They’re watching, waiting for the showdown.

Maybe that’s why the Woolpack is the heart of Emmerdale. 

Welcome, one and all, to the free show of Aaron’s life being shattered right in front before his eyes.

iiii. 

Aaron’s tongue tastes bitter and metallic, like the thick tang of blood when he bites the inside of his cheek, or the taste of the tinsel curtain that Robert somehow gets a mouthful of between playful shoves.

He knows what it is but he doesn’t, because he won’t think about it. But it’s all there, in the back of his mind: _rebeccabisexualwomenflirtingcheatingrobertaffairscheatingrobert_. It’s all piled up on top of him, pushing him down until he’s crying from the strain of standing upright. 

But sometimes, he can forget about it. Robert smiles, genuine and real, and steps closer. Fits his palms along the sharp line of Aaron’s jaw and tilts his head up, then sways down, and catches his mouth. It’s a dirty kiss, the kind that promises something more, and Aaron feels it everywhere – against his cheek as Robert breathes out harshly, against his pelvis when Robert presses closer between his legs, in the silk of Robert’s waistcoat under his fingers. 

Robert pushes his tongue into Aaron’s mouth and the thoughts out of Aaron’s head, until it’s blond hair and tanned skin everywhere. He likes these moments, the ones where he can think about something else. 

“Thank you,” Aaron whispers as he pulls away, lips brushing against Robert’s. He doesn't just mean the trip. He means the decorations and the roulette wheel, Liv's cheap costume gloves and the dress she never wore.

He means for sticking by him, even when Aaron's jealousy is tinging the air around them green, when he can't get out of his own head and takes it out on Robert. For the nights he has the worst of dreams, when he cries and shudders and Robert sits on the floor, watching patiently, so they don't touch.

For proposing to him, despite all of that.

It’s just so hard to say all of that with words, so he tries to show it with actions. He tries to say it when he kisses Robert awake in the morning, or cooks him tea. He tries to say it with his gasps and moans, or when he straightens his tie before a meeting.

He tries to say it when he books the hotel room in Manchester – except, it’s tainted, with Aaron’s own thoughts. Bittersweet. 

Sometimes, when he’s saying words he never thought he could, there’s one thing running through his mind.

Sometimes, he wonders if it was worth clinging on to Robert at all. 

iiiii.

 _Come home with me_ , Aaron said, holding out a hand for Robert to take. He didn’t particularly mean anywhere – not a place, anyway. Not physically. No, what he’d meant was, come home _to_ me. 

Come back and burrow yourself back in the hole you left in my chest, the one that was never really filled. The one that’s been aching since the day I let you go. 

Robert had smiled and linked his fingers with Aaron, pulling him in close and wrapping an arm around his waist. It was cold, Aaron noted. The freezing February air was biting, but it was nothing when Robert held him against his side and turned his head to bury a kiss into the younger man’s hair.

Home, when he asked, meant Aaron. It meant Liv, and now, it means Seb. It means The Mill, and all the nice things Robert bought, and all the paint he chose for the walls. That god awful scooter chair and the wine fridge, the pictures that Aaron never took down but just turned, facing away, so that he didn’t quite have to look at them.

Now Robert’s here. It doesn’t feel real, but it also feels like he never left. A walking contradiction, and isn’t that exactly what Robert’s about? 

He loves nobody more than himself, but he loves Aaron even more. 

They’re sharing small, secretive smiles, nothing more than the corners of their lips turned up, as they take off their coats and shoes and gravitate back towards each other. Then it’s hesitant touches; Robert’s hand on Aaron’s bicep, Aaron’s fingers on Robert’s knee.

They didn’t have this, before. Things were tense then – black and ugly, festering inside Aaron’s brain and pushing to the front, resting in Robert’s belly and pushed to the back.

Aaron doesn’t think they even touched, back then. A gentle squeeze of the shoulder or a peck to the lips, but nothing like this. This is like being a teenager, needing to be all over each other just so they can _breathe_.

This is a new beginning, but Aaron doesn’t feel like he needs to cling onto it anymore. He doesn’t need to dig his nails in to secure it, because Robert won’t push him away. 

This chapter, this start, is something else. It’s all Aaron’s. He doesn’t need to worry about it all being snatched away anymore.

  


  


+i.

Aaron’s honestly surprised this hasn’t come up sooner.

They’re back in the place it all started – the lay-by. Honestly, if Aaron thinks back, it started way before then. When Robert stormed into the barn up Butler’s and spat furiously about his car, and Aaron had tried to placate him. It was that moment it started, but here?

Here, at the lay-by, is where Aaron’s life was changed forever. He hated that, at first. Hated that everything was flipped upside down and twisted inside out, but it righted itself, didn’t it? And now he doesn’t want to be anywhere else. 

Robert proposed and Aaron proposed, and they said yes, and they’re getting married. He and him, us and them, forever. There’s no rush to get back to wives or families who didn’t approve. The only thing they’re getting back to is each other. 

“So,” Robert says on a gasp, fingers biting into Aaron’s hips. They’re squished on the middle back seat of the car, trousers round their thighs and boxers pushed down just as far. “You’re finally getting that shag, huh?” 

Aaron hisses when Robert twists his hips upwards, twisting his fingers in the older man’s hair a little too tightly. It’s ridiculous, honestly – men of their age, fucking in the back seat of a smaller than average car like they’re kids again.

But that’s not going to stop them. Aaron grins down again, Robert’s cock filling him up until he can’t think of anything else. 

“What you on about?” He manages to push out, curling his hands around the balls of Robert’s shoulders for leverage. He slips them under his shirt and and onto bare skin, pushing his unbuttoned shirt out of the way so he can map freckles with fingertips. 

“You definitely wanted a shag,” Robert says. Somehow he manages to keep that smirk on his face, even when Aaron slams back down and he groans, low and long. “Back then.” 

Aaron huffs out a laugh, because he can’t deny it. Not when it was written all over his face, not when he spread his legs for Robert not even four hours after. He wanted him then and he wants him now; always, forever.

They’re silent, for a bit. Just the sounds of skin hitting skin and harsh breaths, then the gasps that fall from Robert’s lips as he comes. Comes undone, right under Aaron’s hands. He follows not long after, streaks hitting Robert’s stomach as the older man grumbles out complains until he finds a tissue. 

Then they sit there. For one minute, and then two. Aaron stays where he is, in Robert’s lap, doesn’t let him shift away. He rests their foreheads together and breathes, pressing sucking little kisses onto Robert’s bottom lip, sliding his hands up the back of his neck and resting his thumbs on his throat.

“I did want you,” he admits, because he’s better at saying it now. That, and because they’ve just gotten engaged. There’s hardly any room for pretence here, is there? “I always want you.” 

“You’ve got me,” Robert says – a promise. He wraps his arms around Aaron’s waist and holds on tight, clinging to him. He doesn’t have to, and Aaron wants to tell him, but he quite likes it. Quite likes knowing that Robert _wants_ to hold him, doesn’t want to hide it. “But we should probably go tell people.” 

People means Aaron’s mum, and his sister, and his sister-in-law. All meddling and all with hearts of gold, he thinks. And honestly, he doesn’t mind telling people. He doesn’t mind being vocal.

Because the first time, he couldn’t be. He couldn’t shout from the rooftops about this special thing he found, because people knowing is what ruined them in the end.

But that’s the one thing about AaronandRobert, RobertandAaron – it always comes right back around, circling. So, Aaron thinks. Here’s to new beginnings. 

And no more ends.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [aarobron](http://aarobron.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
